Almost immediately after you get engaged, someone (usually a close female friend or family member) will drop “the dress” bombshell. “So when are you going dress shopping? You’ve gotta go dress shopping! Can I come dress shopping? OMG WE’RE GOING DRESS SHOPPING!!!!”
And y’know, that’s great if you’re into all that “say yes to the dress” kinda vibe.. some girls dream of having that “all eyes on me” experience where you’ve got your whole bridal party there with you while you’re trying on dresses, and they’re all drinking champagne and taking photos of you in the dresses, screaming and crying when you come out, etc… and that’s great if that’s your thing.. but.. that really wasn’t what I wanted at all.
For me personally, the idea of being expected to make a huge decision like that while I’ve got everyone else around me is far too overwhelming. Finding your wedding dress is literally like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
The thing is, right… this dress isn’t just a dress. With any luck, you’re only ever gonna have one wedding dress. It’s gotta tick ALL the boxes, and it’s gotta be perfect in every single way before you make that final decision. And I dunno about anyone else, but if I was to walk into a shop, having never ever worn a dress like that before, having to try on a huge range of dresses then have everyone I’m with throw their two cents in, and give their opinions… it’s gonna give me a huge headache, lots of stress and anxiety and I’ll feel too pressured to make that decision.
That might just be me.. I just know I’d get really stressed and overwhelmed and probably wouldn’t handle it too well. So, why would I wanna do that to myself, y’know?
I’ve had one or two people say “Awww well you might regret it in years to come and wish you went dress shopping with your girls.” No. No I won’t. I may feel differently when it’s one of “my girls” getting married, and I’m not the one that has to deal with all the worry, stress, pressure and anxiety.. and when I’m not the one forking out a huge amount of cash on one purchase.. I’ll happily be there for my girls if that’s the way they wanna do it, but.. It’s just not for me. 🙂
Soon after Sam and I moved in together and things got super serious between us, I found my mind wandering and thinking along the lines of “Well if we ever got married… this is what I’d have…” y’know, literally just dreaming, as girls often do. And one of the things I thought about while planning our dream wedding in my head was what kinda dress I’d have. I picked a certain style that I knew I wanted and browsed through a few designers, not expecting to find anything I liked, but, I ended up stumbling across the perfect dress.
That was… 2 1/2 (ish..) years ago. I bookmarked it and just left it there. Since we got engaged, I’ve looked, looked and looked again, and sure, every wedding dress is beautiful, but none have made my heart skip a beat quite like that one did.
I’m not gonna answer ANY questions about it.. where it’s from, how much it was, etc. All anyone needs to know is that I have the dress right here with me. Infact, it’s in this dress bag right here. Eeeeeeek!! No peeking! It’s absolutely beautiful. I’m keeping it stored at my parents house, so it’s completely safe and away from Sam’s peeking eyes.
Am I worried it might not fit nearer to the time? No. Not in the slightest. I purposely bought it in a size up (as wedding dresses can come up really small, especially if it’s an American designer / sizing, etc.. *might be a clue, might be calling your bluff, who knows…*) and I know a really good seamstress who can work her magic if it needs taking in, so I’m not too worried about that. It’s stored In a zipped up dress bag, in bubble wrap, in a wardrobe, out of the way of the cat. *My God, could you IMAGINE?! Jeeeeez!*
Bridal shops are going under like wildfire at the moment, and there’s even been a bit of a kerfuffle with a bridal shop very local to me, that I had planned to go to as it was one of the only places locally that stocked my dress. I know brides that have paid a deposit on a dress, have visited shops for various fittings, paid for the dresses in full, etc.. then a couple of weeks before their wedding, the shops haven’t been returning their calls, then all of a sudden they’re vanishing.. with the money and the dresses. Shop shuts down, no trace of the dresses, can’t get hold of the owners, etc… and a lot of brides are left devastated because not only have they lost thousands of pounds that they spent out, but they’ve also lost their dream dress. The dress is a hugely important part of any bride’s big day.. and under no circumstances should it be compromised. So, once I found my dress, I chose to pay for it outright and bring it home with me, so it can’t disappear a year down the line. Safe and sound.
Once we’ve got the bridesmaids dresses sorted, I’ll try to arrange a day when all my bridesmaids and the two mums are free on the same day (which is propbably gonna be a very difficult task…) and hopefully we’ll all spend a day together trying on the dresses, making sure everything fits nicely, working out any necessary alterations, drink some prosecco, etc.
We may even do the hair and make up trial that day too, to save trying to find another day that everyone will be free. Might be a little earlier than usual to do the hair and make up trial, but what the hell.
I’m quite conscious of trying not to inconvenience people – everyone has their own stuff to do, and I’m definitely not expecting people to drop everything for me and my wedding, which is why I’m trying to squeeze things together where possible and stuff.
So far everyone has been amazing and so, so helpful and understanding. I can’t wait to continue planning with everyone. My niece Steph has been a busy bee using her Bridesmaid Planner that was in her bridesmaid box, and has been making a few plans for the hen party, bless her. She’s such a darl. I love how excited she is about everything.. having someone else around that’s so excited keeps the excitement fresh for me.
I’m gonna have a cuppa tea, and stare at my beautiful wedding dress for just a little while longer. It’s so, so beautiful!
Everything is so perfect, and going so well. I’m so happy!