I was having a conversation with Steph, my niece (and one of my bridesmaids) recently, and she said that she can’t believe how calm and stress-free everything has been. Steph knows me better than most people and has seen how stressed I can get about other stuff.. (especially if I’m tired or need feeding… lol.. *I LOL but seriously, true story*) and I guess everyone close to me thought that I’d be a proper stressy bride. In all honesty, I think I did too, a little bit. I definitely didn’t think I’d be as calm as I have been.
I think Sam definitely helps me to remain calm. He keeps me grounded all the time. He’s very laid back, and when I get all fired up, he’s the one to pull me back to reality and forces me to think a little more rationally. His attitude is “If you don’t like it, change it. If you can’t change it, there’s no point in worrying about it.”
…And I can never argue with that, however much I try. And believe me, I do try. But he’s right. There is literally no point in stressing over something I can’t control or change. So why bother?
However, there have been one or two minor hiccups that we’ve experienced. Luckily for us, we had lots of time to consider other options.
I’ve been planning this wedding since the day we moved in together, so we already had quite a head start and knew how our day would look waaaaaaay before any of it was a reality, so once it became a reality, we spent a little bit of time revisiting everything we had already decided on, making sure it was still what we wanted, then went ahead and began building our day, piece by piece.
Calling the registrar to check out availability was the first wake up call, as we thought we were so far ahead of the game, considering it was the beginning of September 2018 and we had almost two years until our wedding date, we thought we were planning with more than enough time to have first pick of whoever and whatever we wanted. But then we were told that there were already dates booked for the week before and after our chosen date, and that the day we chose, there was only one slot remaining, so she advised us to book in ASAP if we wanted a certain date. So… we did. And that led us to thinking that perhaps if people are setting their dates that far in advance, what else are they booking so far in advance…? So, we contacted the people who we already knew we wanted to use for certain things, for example, the photographer, only to discover that they were already booked too.
Not gonna lie, my heart sank for a second, and I started to panic.
That was the first time I actually felt like I wasn’t in control.. and it wasn’t a nice feeling. I’m a control freak. A complete perfectionist. I wear that on my sleeve, and everyone knows it.
It’s always important to have a plan B up your sleeve, incase anything happens and anyone has to pull out for any reason, but I seemed to have tunnel vision when it came to a photographer. I never really looked at anyone else’s work because I already knew what I wanted and who I was looking for. The photographer was kind enough to recommend another photographer, who she thought would suit our style and be able to capture our day perfectly. We quickly contacted her and set up a meeting, and within seconds of chatting to her about our story, our relationship, our wedding and our style, we were certain that we had made the right decision, and got her booked in. She’s LITERALLY so much like me, it’s untrue, so I know she’s gonna capture the energy and fun of our day exactly how we can picture it in our heads.
We had the same problem with choosing a wedding videographer. I think that’s been the most stressful thing so far.. we couldn’t find anyone we liked for quite a while. Then when we finally found what we were looking for, they were already booked on our date too. I don’t wanna talk too much about the kinda style and look we’re going for, but it’s quite different to what you normally see from the standard wedding video. We didn’t want the normal run-of-the-mill video, where there’s a cheesy song in the background, an overexposed glow filter to make it look “dreamy” and all the other usual stuff. As nice as all that stuff is, we wanted something a little… different for our day.
We were chatting to our photographer about our difficulties finding a videographer that suited the style we were looking for, and she was able to recommend a film-maker who’s also a personal friend of hers, who can shoot many different styles, so we checked out her work and LOVED it, contacted her, and had a video-chat over Skype and again, knew straight away that she was the perfect choice of film-maker to capture our day perfectly. So we booked her in, and now we have the perfect photo/video dream-team!
So, it does go to show that when you think you have a plan, and something happens that can screw it up, that it can actually lead you to explore other avenues and find something better. It really helps us that our photographer and videographer know each other personally, as we know they’re gonna work together as a team, help each other out and that they’ll be able to relax and enjoy the day together as friends as well as working together. They’re both such fun girls, and we’re hoping our day is gonna be such a lot of fun for everyone, so seeing our photographer and videographer rocking out on the dancefloor together with our closest family and friends will be pretty damn awesome! They’re both very professional, and I trust them 110%.
We had a close call with a local company, as we were booking some bits and pieces with them, but had to e-mail them numerous times to ask if we could put down a deposit. When they actually got round to sending us the booking form to check over and pay a deposit, it was someone else’s information on the form! We were less than impressed, and Sam actually e-mailed them and aired his concerns about the data breach, and asked them if it was easy enough for them to send us someone else’s information, then just how safe is our information gonna be with them..? They apologised and reassured us that it was a one-time error that has never happened before and wouldn’t happen again, however we’ve decided that due to the unprofessionalism of that company, we won’t be using them for our day, and have made other arrangements.
We’ve also just discovered that the person who’s dressing our venue may have just decided to close her business, but I haven’t been able to get hold of her, which isn’t very helpful. Our venue uses her as a recommended vendor, so I’m gonna give them a call if I can’t get an answer out of her and find out if they know anything, and whether they’re gonna find another recommended vendor and pass on all her clients to them, or whether we need to find one. I’m not too worried about it, as I know that there’s lots of other people around who can dress venues, however it would be helpful to know.
That’s the one thing I’m really struggling with. People don’t seem to wanna get back to you.. and I’m constantly feeling like I’m waiting on other people to do something before I can move on to the next step. It’s frustrating when you don’t know what’s going on, but lucky enough, we’ve still got time to book other people in if we need to.
So, my advice to you if you’re in the “shopping around” stage would be to never limit yourself to just one option. I’d say that’s been my only mistake while planning so far. We were fortunate enough to had found other options that have turned out so well for us, but while you’re e-mailing all your vendors and looking at what people can offer, just make sure you remember to write down all the details of other people you also like, who can offer the same or something similar, just incase your first option doesn’t work out for some reason.
I’d also recommend shopping around for the best quote, as my niece Steph linked us to a really good offer for some of the things we wanted to have at our wedding for a fraction of the price that we were gonna pay with another company, so it really helps to do your research, spend some time shopping around for the best quotes, send e-mails to more than one supplier to check availability before you set your heart on something and always make sure you have a plan B to fall back on if you need to.
I think I’m keeping everything calm and stress-free by keeping everything as simple as possible, and allowing time for planning and projects. I remember saying in a previous post somewhere, that Sam and I decided to have specific “wedding planning nights” where we’d sit down together and focus on one aspect of planning, and set all evening aside to complete the task. I’m quite an organised person anyway, so making lists, setting myself tasks and deadlines etc has become quite normal for me anyway. Sam… not so much.. but he adapted very well. Once the task was completed, we used a takeaway treat as a reward.. so.. that helped to keep him motivated, I think.
In the earlier days, I planned to use every day off I had to do one wedding project. Didn’t matter what it was.. something big, something small.. but as long as I could tick something off my list on every day off I had, I’d be happy, and it did work. I still have lots left on the list, but they’re mainly things that I can’t do until closer to the time, or DIY projects… things to make, etc.. so, that kinda stuff takes quite a lot of time, preperation, etc. So they’re gonna be projects that we can focus on in the new year.
It also helps that my mum is taking on some of the projects for me, as she really enjoys craft projects and has been working on lots of little bits and pieces for us. I also have Sam, and my wonderful bridal team to help me out with everything, so I’m not on my own.
So far, I’m having an absolute blast while wedding planning. I’m already getting worried about how the hell I’m gonna handle it when it’s all over. I can see myself getting severe post-wedding blues!
But knowing us, it won’t be too long before we begin the next adventure.. whatever that may be. 🙂