I actually couldn’t believe what happened the other day. I was browsing a wedding forum full of brides and suppliers, and I was sent a message from someone on the same group, promoting a certain product.. y’know those really annoying reps that try and get you to lose weight by buying juice, milkshakes or taking suppliments.. (no offence girls, but it’s true, it is kinda annoying..) and the message said this…
“Hey! Congratulations on your engagement! When are you getting married? Have you planned enough time for you to lose a few pounds to fit into the most important dress of your life?
Think about how amazing you could look in your wedding photos if you dropped a dress size or two…“
…It went on, but I felt too livid to continue reading, so just pressed delete and continued eating my really nice cream cake.
I know that this person probably had no idea that what they said could be perceived as inappropriate, rude or hurtful. I know that it was probably just a message that they copied and pasted to hundreds of other girls in the group, and all that they really wanted to do was make a few sales on the next MLM fad that they decided to join in the hope of making themselves a few quid. Whatever. I get it.
I’ve already had my fair share of MLM girls try to sell me stuff. You can always tell when someone you know has had this “training”… they talk about it like they’ve been brainwashed. It’s actually quite strange.. but, back to the point, none of the girls that have ever messaged me have been quite as rude as this one particular girl.
Now, I’m a big girl. I can take it. I mean I know I’m not a size 8 any more and I know I’ve definitely gone up a dress size or two since I met Sam.. (I think they call that contentment, don’t they?) but, I’m in no way a “plus size girl” and I don’t feel that I need to “lose weight”. Even if I was plus size, what gives anyone the right to assume that I’d be unhappy being that way?
Every bride wants to look their best on their wedding day, and for some, that may mean losing a few pounds. which is totally fine if that’s what they choose to do. But what’s not fine, is the assumption that to be HAPPY with the way you look on your wedding day, you MUST want to lose weight.
That.. is NOT ok in any way, shape or form.
It’s a very clever industry, all this wedding malarky. Weddings get everyone spending SO MUCH MONEY on making sure the day is perfect. Everything has to be perfect. The venue, the food, the cake, the music.. and.. the bride.
We spend so much money on making sure we look and feel our best on our wedding day. Hair, make up, beauty treatments, nails, the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, the perfect underwear… the perfect body. Having “the perfect body” is something that most brides worry about. Why? The simple answer is society.
We as brides spend money buying bridal magazines, featuring size 6-10 models all looking flawless in their perfectly fitted dresses, then there’s bridal shop assistants asking if you’re planning on losing any “wedding weight” and actually allow you to order your dress smaller than will currently fit, which will put so much more pressure on you to lose the weight, and sometimes not even stocking dresses above a size 10.
There’s “bridal bootcamps” and “sweating for the wedding” clubs, not to mention all the conversations you have with your friends and family when they ask how wedding planning is going, and they throw in a dig or two while you’re eating lunch like “Remember you have a wedding dress to fit in to…”
This toxic attitude is everywhere, and it’s absolutely shocking.
How are women ever supposed to learn to look in the mirror and not loathe themselves with all this bullshit shoved in our faces all the time?
Am I not gonna be beautiful on my wedding day if I’m not a perfect 10? Do I need to diet? Is that what they’re saying? Luckily, all this crap is wasted on me, because I’m a little bit stronger than some, and I’ll stomp on anyone right now who tells me that I should consider losing weight to fit into my dress.
HOW ABOUT JUST GET A BIGGER SIZE, YA DICKHEAD?!
What is WRONG with that? Jesus! People like to tell themselves that society has moved on and that “bigger is beautiful” but they’re talking out of their arses. I’ll believe it when I walk into a shop, pick up a mainstream bridal magazine and see a girl of my height and build stood there rocking a wedding dress.
Tell ya, I’d probably do it happier than some of these models do, because I’d be unapologetically stuffing my face with cake behind the scenes, just because I can.
I might have a bad attitude towards it all because I don’t like being shoved into this tiny little box where I’m told how to be.. how to look, how to stand, what to say, what to do, what not to do, how to behave, what’s popular and what people want to see or hear.
Truth is IDGAF about ANY of it. And neither should you.
The next time you sit there stressing about losing wedding weight.. or crying because you can’t do the zip up on your dress, I want you to stop what you’re doing and look down at that beautiful sparkling ring on your finger.
The person that gave that to you doesn’t care which size dress you buy. The person who gave that to you won’t see what you can see. They’re gonna see you walking down that aisle and they’re gonna be the happiest they’ve ever been.. because they get to marry you.
They love you. So let them love every inch of you.